Don't Label Me: An Incredible Conversation for Divided Times by Irshad Manji

Author:Irshad Manji
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Psychology, Politics
Publisher: St. Martin's Press
Published: 2019-02-26T00:00:00+00:00

36

Lily for President?

No bones about it, Lil, you’d be a sensational candidate for President of the United States—one nation, under Dog, irresistible, with jerky and justice for all.

In your ceaseless search for all meats grilled, you’d be the belle of the Texas ball.

Your exquisite intelligence would get the East Coast intellectuals buzzing.

With your propensity for leaning into the wind, the Midwest wouldn’t get enough of you.

Yet your free spirit would have New Hampshire swooning.

The Pacific Northwest would hike to the polls when the folks there watch your fearless expedition into every inhalable terrain.

And once you’re seen for the party animal that the beach brings out, Florida will be drinking out of your cup. (Hawai‘i, too, but that’s an end-of-election-night bonus. Get your hula on, girl.)

Yes, ma’am, you’ll make diversity great again! True, you don’t have proof of being microchipped in America, but you’ll insist that you’ve never wandered far from Compton, California. After all, you’ll jest, that’s where a “wretch” like you was found. (Voters will get the musical allusion. And they’ll adore the self-deprecation. Trust me.)

The best part is, as a plural you’ll have accumulated some vital political experience: listening to voters who’ll initially regard you as a flimsy candidate. “Fabulous fur,” they’ll concede, “but can she govern?” They’ll have learned from previous Oval Office occupants that big hair only achieves so much.

Those voters, burned as they are by politicians, will skewer your policies, mangled as they’ll be by the media. But you, Lily, will already wield the skills to communicate your vision to the doubters. Over many years of exposing yourself to disagreement, you’ll have expressed your values clearly to an apprehensive electorate.

You’ll know what’s negotiable and nonnegotiable in order to maintain your integrity. You’ll have gobs of self-awareness and a cornucopia of world-awareness—the implicit understanding that viewpoints other than yours exist and that those who hold them are more likely to hear you out if you hear them first. Let’s jot that down for your upbeat ads.

You won’t appear defensive because, well, you’re not. Your openness will lower emotional defenses both in the reporters and in the voters. Above all, you’ll distinguish yourself from the pack of howling rivals, trained at elite colleges to exercise freedom of screech.

Voters will have had their fill of the shouting. Your campaign credo, “Listening—for a change,” will catch on and stimulate neighborhood potlucks nationwide. Down with shrill! Up with Lil!

After you win, Madame President, your well-groomed capacity to absorb and engage will alleviate the perennial gridlock in Congress. Mark Lilla, a political scientist, explains the advantage you’ll be trotting in with:

To pass legislation you need to persuade very different sorts of people that it makes sense, which might require compromise but also helps ensure that the law will not provoke a mass reaction that leaves you in a worse position than when you began.

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